{"id":748,"date":"2015-02-11T17:40:37","date_gmt":"2015-02-11T17:40:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sacredflight.com\/?p=748"},"modified":"2015-02-18T16:49:33","modified_gmt":"2015-02-18T16:49:33","slug":"parent-question-of-the-week-14","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sacredflight.com\/?p=748","title":{"rendered":"Parent Question of the Week"},"content":{"rendered":"

How do you fix a troubled relationship or marriage?<\/strong><\/span><\/h1>\n

*Please note that this\u00a0is in\u00a0response to an excellent February 9th\u00a0piece<\/a>\u00a0posted on Today’s Parent<\/a>\u00a0by Kate Rae<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Keeping a strong marriage requires taking care of ourselves as people. I\u2019ve discovered several ways to do this. The following rituals have helped my husband and I keep a fresh perspective and renew ourselves during our parenting years. We have been married for 38 years and have 3 adult sons. <\/span><\/p>\n

1. The first was our \u201cdate night.\u201d Once a week, always the same night of the week, we had a babysitter come. We were lucky to have the same person, Lisa, come every Thursday night for fifteen years. We saw her grow up, too, over the years, and this has truly been our good fortune. Our sons now refer to her as a \u201cbig sister.\u201d The fact that her commitment level has matched our own commitment to spend time together as a couple is not a coincidence.<\/span><\/p>\n

There are a few boundaries for \u201cdate night.\u201d It is not a time to discuss problems, financial shortfalls, or heavy-duty difficult situations, nor is it a time to compare calendars, discuss tasks, or even entertain others. \u201cDate night\u201d is quite simply a time set aside to have fun together. No one else is invited. It\u2019s our time to renew and care for the relationship itself. Play is a key part of this renewal. We like to take long walks together, eat dinner out, talk openly, see movies, go to rock concerts, take picnics in the park, or visit the animals in the zoo.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Another way to carve out renewal time is to make dates with yourself. Whether you are parenting alone or have a partner, time for self-renewal and nourishment is critical. Without renewal, an imbalance can occur. Your perspective on many issues will not be fresh or rich. Everyone needs space, but parents especially can get overextended. You can\u2019t nourish others unless you have been nourished first. Parents must learn to carve out some personal time for themselves, ideally every day. I\u2019ve discovered that for me, there are only two possible times for this to happen\u2014early in the morning or late at night. Sometimes, but less regularly, I\u2019m able to sneak in some short renewal time for myself during the day, but this is quite difficult. Some of my favorite things are to: read a book, take a nap, write in my journal, garden, sit outside, slowly enjoy the newspaper, take a leisurely walk with our dog, or talk with friends. Anything that helps bring a sense of aliveness and renewal back to your personal life is appropriate.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. A third way to find renewal is to take a vacation. It is essential. Going away for a short while, a two- or three-day trip, can bring sparkle back to an overtired person or an exhausted couple. The activities on this long weekend don\u2019t have to be numerous or grand. In fact, one of the best ways to restore energy is to simplify your vacation plans. Don\u2019t do much. Conserve energy, so you can release it later. Use a vacation to simplify your outer and your inner lives. Two precious days can help restore your mind and body and bring back a sense of harmony to your spirit. Take them.<\/span><\/p>\n

Bottom line: Make regular “dates” with yourself and your partner.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How do you fix a troubled relationship or marriage? *Please note that this\u00a0is in\u00a0response to an excellent February 9th\u00a0piece\u00a0posted onRead the Rest…<\/a><\/p>\n

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