Can you explain what you mean when you talk about establishing boundaries for teens within the family?
We want to nurture creative, independent adults, but also create a family culture where everyone is respected. Setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries helps to protect each family member’s dignity (and sanity!) and to preserve reasonable harmony in your home. If you haven’t done so already, put some practical boundaries or parameters in place. These are the basic behaviors or ground rules, adopted on your home front, and required by your teens. They should be in place at all times. Most importantly, give teens a role in setting the boundaries.
Communicate clearly what the agreed upon boundaries are, through written and verbal reinforcements. Just as teens need limits and boundaries, they need also to hear the word “no!” and the reasons why they can’t do something. Try to give clear, straight answers. Be calm and firm, but hold to your point of view. For example, say “Under no circumstances can driving occur while drinking.” Or, “It is imperative that we know where you are at night in case we have to reach you, so give us detailed information when you check in.”
Dr. Susan Smith Kuczmarski has taught at 8 universities, now at Northwestern University and Loyola University in Chicago. She is an award-winning author of 6 books, 3 on families and 3 on leadership, including her newest, Becoming A Happy Family: Pathways to the Family Soul (2015), and her best-selling, The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent’s Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go, which was released (2019) in Egypt in Arabic. Trained as a cultural anthropologist, she has researched extensively how children learn social skills and teens become leaders. A frequent radio and television guest, she has appeared on "The Today Show" and speaks regularly to parents and educators. Listed in Who's Who in the World for 12 years and an International Fellow of Columbia University, her 35 years of college teaching and research have made her an expert on issues devoted to the contemporary family.












